Kim Kardashian Is Never Coming Back

I remember a day not so long ago when people would say, ‘Sure, Kim Kardashian is a soul-less conniving Succubus who needs to be stricken form this planet like polio or that French Stewart guy, BUT, she’s still hot and I’d do her.’ Now what? Outside of the few of you who like to go turtling with the billowing neck BBWs, what’s left in the Kim Kardashian apologist tank? She did suddenly find religion after her martial scam was publicly exposed, she spent four hours on the ground in Haiti throwing faux pearls to the hungry peasant children, and she does inspire with the cliche Tweets about being the best you can be and ignoring haters. But that isn’t much. It’s truly time for Kim to go. I doubt such a large object could simply fade into the sunset, so maybe a push out to sea, another floating Pacific Garbage Patch for strident pamphleteers to assault you about outside head shops.

Photo Credit: Splash, Fameflynet