If Lindsay Lohan is smart – big if – she's using her time at the Betty Ford Clinic to plan something really insane for when she tries to make her next comeback and needs to take back her crown as Queen Meltdown from Amanda Bynes. Because, let's face it, nobody is going to hire Lindsay to work on another movie or TV show, when her last two co-stars – porn star James Deen and Charlie Sheen – complained about how unprofessional she is.
So while Father of the Year hall-of-famer Michael Lohan stopped by the Betty Ford Clinic to have lunch with his daughter, only to come out singing praises that Lindsey is clean, sober and "phenomenal" to TMZ, he should be helping her storyboard a scenario in which someone "leaks" a sex tape of her that involves the Sacramento Kings at a Tijuana donkey show, filmed entirely in a swimming pool filled with heroin. That should buy her at least three more months in the spotlight.
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