Hey, Rape Victim, It’s Me, Serena

You know what I bet. I bet when you’re the victim of a famous gang rape that grips the national media, you’re hoping and praying that your story can linger in the press for as long as humanly possible. Even better if a completely unrelated celebrity brings the case back into prominence for no good reason just when things are starting to die down.

You knew this shit was coming. After inserting herself into the Steubenville rape case and insinuating that the high school assault victim was at least somewhat on the hook for the incident, Serena Williams called the rape victim from her Wimbledon hotel to let her know she’s on her side. Really. I bet that felt good. For Serena.

The rape victim’s family attorney issued this immensely contrived message after the call with Serena:’

We are sure Serena has and will continue to use her God-given talents to advance women’s equality and send the message that rape is never acceptable under any circumstance. We are fans of Serena and will continue rooting for many more championships but more importantly watching her advance the cause of rape victims who are never to blame.

I’m left with the distinct impression that these people care for Serena and tennis about as much as She-Hulk cares for girls who get raped at high school parties. Not a whole lot.