Minnie Driver Is Where the Sun Will Never Find Her — The Beach

Minnie Driver is yet another one of the celebrities wearing those stupid Panama hats and oversized sunglasses and protective tops to shield her from the mindless killing machine that is El Sol. Here’s a thing, if you’re scared of the invisible death rays emitted by the blazing orb in the sky, how about hiding in a cave like the rest of the timid and weak. Get into your dark underground bunkers where skin cancer may never find you. Bunk up next to Angelina Jolie who’s having her outer three layers of derma removed as a preventative measure since melanoma runs in the family. Yes, she’ll have to live out her days in a bio-tank filled with anti-microbial gel, but maybe you can wheel her out on her birthdays to the see Pacific when El Sol is slumbering.

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI