I was staring so hard at the pregnant swollen boobs of Hilaria Thomas that I barely noticed old Russell Crowe kissing her on the head in the park as he fingered her toy poodle’s ass. Odd, but it’s Manhattan. More typically, you’d find Alec Baldwin on the park bench, seated next to his soon to be baby mama, waxing passionate about how a Republican president would be horrible for the coons and wetbacks of this nation. Some people question Alec Baldwin becoming a dad again at age 55, given that by the time his new child is in college, he will be even older and more fucking annoying than ever. But, you can’t stop love. Or a young yoga instructor’s desire to get in on a little 30 Rock residual money.
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