It took me a while to watch the Lindsay Lohan interview with Fat Oprah. I had a few other things on my DVR in higher priority. All six seasons of Mad Men that I’ve told people I watched but lied, that episode of The Closer where Kyra Sedgwick teaches everybody a lesson in underestimating her, and a bunch of women’s college softball games for when I have the place to myself. Lindsay looks like an ex-addict shiny high on rehab. Like everyone else fresh out of mandatory counseling, she’s taking full responsibility for her actions.
‘I hate the bad rap my parents get. They’re just parents, at the end of the day. I don’t blame anyone for my mistakes.’
Yeah, but they’re not just parents. Your dad’s a violent steroid addicted dude who has sold you out on many occasions in between jail stints. Your mom is a drug and alcohol abusing whorebag who had a makeover to look just like you so she could more easily steal your money and cocaine. Yeah, you’re not the only person to grow up with shitty parents, but a good percentage of those people are fucked up too. You need to tell Fat Oprah that your parents a pair of abusive self-indulgent assholes that you’d like to kick in the fucking teeth. Trust me, it’ll go a much longer way toward healing than this total accepting of responsibility nonsense.
Here’s Lindsay outside a restaurant trying to hide the fact that she’s smoking cigarettes. I don’t ever want to go through rehab. It makes you ashamed of everything fun.
Photo Credit: Splash