Miley Cyrus Protests Anti-Topless Laws by Self-Censoring Her Titties

By Lex December 16, 2013 @ 5:08 PM

Miley Cyrus joined the epic battle for the right of angry feminist women to go topless in public just like men who love seeing their own nipples in store reflections do. We know how that hot button issue divides this nation between the people who don’t know about it to the people who don’t give a shit about it. And then the small sub-section of guys who stupidly believe good looking women are suddenly going to be walking around the city topless. Miley put in her two cents by flashing her bare boy chest on Twitter. She thanked New York for their ruling that women are allowed to be topless in public provided they’ve previously blogged about how clumsy and horrible the guy was who took their virginity. Miley had her little bumps censored with Christmas hearts just to reinforce the fact that she doesn’t understand irony.

To further her feminist credentials, Miley went on stage at Madison Square Garden to spank a girl midget and let a naughty Santa grind her ass for cash.

Photo Credit: Getty

(6) Comments

  1. avatar
    Admiral 12/16/2013 17:34

    She’s as queer as a third ball.

  2. avatar
    MacDaddy 12/16/2013 17:41

    This will most likely come out eventually, or, perhaps it’s just a BS office Rumor, but sources say Heffner was asked about an offer to have Miley in Playboy.

    He was quoted as saying, “This is a magazine that uniquely expresses the female body in all its beauty, it’s not Boys Life!”

  3. avatar
    puckergood 12/16/2013 21:15

    Thought the cover photo was the Biebs… Damn…

  4. avatar
    Beylerbey 12/16/2013 22:00

    Holy shit I thought that was Beiber at first.

  5. avatar
    Beylerbey 12/16/2013 22:00

    I don’t need another shot to the ticker like that, wwtdd.

  6. avatar
    miche the killer 12/17/2013 00:16

    She also said her album was the new Bible. That’s right. Kanye is now Jesus and her wet fart album is the new Bible. That’s 2 of 4 horsemen right there.

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