I’m Pretty Sure Katy Perry Is Pregnant

By Lex January 28, 2014 @ 5:21 PM

Katy Perry Shows Off Her Cleavage At Universal Music Group's Post Grammy Party
When I was a child I came across an elderly gypspy woman requiring assistance to cross a rural road. Many people had passed her by, but I took it upon myself to guide her gently to her destination across the way. For my pure act of kindness, the gypsy woman tapped me with the gift of limited omniscience. Mostly, I can’t see or understand any of the important shit, but when it comes to useless garbage, I’m like the all-seeing fucking eagle. I’m telling you now that Katy Perry is pregnant, so that if you happen to be the baby daddy, you’ll have time to get your affairs in order. Mostly passports and whatever loose cash you can find to escape the Thirty Mile Zone. If Mario Lopez reaches you on the phone, you will only have seven days left to live. Run, spunky, and don’t look back.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet

(6) Comments

  1. avatar
    Beylerbey 01/28/2014 17:29

    If this is true, the Syndicate will have to take action. No Mayer/Perry spawn can be allowed to come into the world.

  2. avatar
    Ted Stickles 01/28/2014 17:57

    If it comes out with a large head making stupid faces to Sesame Street music we know who the dad is.

  3. avatar
    deliminator 01/28/2014 18:52

    So you’re saying her tits are going to get bigger?

  4. avatar
    ThisSiteIsGayPornography 01/28/2014 21:37

    I’d help milk her.

  5. avatar
    PudKnocker 01/29/2014 00:42

    Katy Perry’s face is a 10 and her tits are 10s. And I wish I was the one who impregnated her. But I didn’t, because I’m a pud knocker.

  6. avatar
    ThisSiteIsGayPornography 01/30/2014 10:58

    Face 7, tits 10.

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