Justin Bieber Rats Out His Mom, Released from Fake Jail

By Lex January 23, 2014 @ 5:13 PM

Justin Bieber left the Miami Courthouse one repentant androgynous boy. Don’t let the leather pants and the climbing on top of his SUV and the waving to the public fool you, Justin is quite contrite. In fact, before he left the long arm of the law, he narced on his mom for being the provider of the prescription meds he takes along with his drink and his weed to make himself a better driver. He folded like a little lesbian accordion as he fingered his mom for feeding him Xanax. Like most animals on the small side of their breed, he suffers from an immense amount of generalized anxiety. You would too if a bird of prey could dive from the sky and pluck you from terra firma without warning. I’m not sure the doctor recommends taking the Xanax with Sizzurp and weed, ┬ábut he’s not getting it from his doctor, he’s getting it from his mom. Like most former pregnant teen runaways, she has a degree in street medicine. I think she can legally perform surgeries in El Salvador.

wwtdd

(2) Comments

  1. avatar
    Ted Stickles 01/23/2014 21:08

    This trannys out of control

  2. avatar
    Jacquestrap LaDouche 01/24/2014 10:31

    I’m calling bullshit. Miley Cyrus and Justin Bieber are the same person, like the way that horned out twerk bitch was Hannah Montana. Straight up hoax, just one big stunt.

    THANKS OBAMA.

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