Justin Bieber Wants To Open A Tattoo Parlor

By Jack January 29, 2014 @ 3:50 PM

After his recent run in with the Miami police, Justin Bieber is talking about quitting music and opening a tattoo parlor with his tank-topped young father, Jeremy. The little lesbian ferret has become more famous for his controversies over the past year than for his choreographed teen love ballads. Biebs is currently in Panama with his manager Scooter and buddy Usher, presumably banging hookers and eating barbecue. I guess in trying to find a fake real job for dad, Bieber came up with the great idea of opening a tattoo shop with his old man. Who better to start a business with that involves needles and blood than the fucked up dude who knocked up your mom at seventeen? I would not go to any tattoo parlor run by the Biebers. They’d just want to ink you with Justin’s idiotic graffiti doodles of little monsters peeing. Every tattoo artist would probably be some failed rapper named Lil something fucked up on sizzurp. If they could find place where girls don’t have to be eighteen to get inked, maybe they’d have a thing. Those impressionable young girls seem to be up for anything Bieber. Especially if Justin fist pumps and tells you how beautiful you are while his dad inks up your back with something that looks like a werewolf fucking a cartoon piranha to have for the rest of your life.

wwtdd

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