The Euros love metric system measured heaps of naked people in their television and cinema. They just insist that everybody be kind of skinny. Anywhere from heroin chic to bulimic chain smoking French girl will do. They’re not shape progressives like the U.S. BBWs in Lululemon yoga pants high-fiving each other at Curves. The Hollywood Foreign Press Association took a collective fat shaming dump on Lena Dunham and Girls when they gave her Golden Globe award to skinny Andy Samberg and Brooklyn Nine-Nine for best comedic fare on television. It was a message vote, like basebal writers to Bonds and Clemens. We gave you an inch, you ate a foot-long. Judd Apatow was about to rise to his feet and call everybody misogyonites, but he remembered his wife’s instructions not to move as she went to go have sex the black dude from 12 Years a Slave in the bathroom. It would have been a tough night for Lena Duhnam if she gave a shit what you thought about her. She’l take this humiliation and turn it into more nudity, maybe even gaping POVs. By the time you flip to HBO and accidentally see something resembling a conch coming out of its shell, it’ll already be too late.
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