Lena Dunham’s Lucky Girdle Lets Her Down

By Lex January 13, 2014 @ 2:41 AM

The Euros love metric system measured heaps of naked people in their television and cinema. They just insist that everybody be kind of skinny. Anywhere from heroin chic to bulimic chain smoking French girl will do. They’re not shape progressives like the U.S. BBWs in Lululemon yoga pants high-fiving each other at Curves. The Hollywood Foreign Press Association took a collective fat shaming dump on Lena Dunham and Girls when they gave her Golden Globe award to skinny Andy Samberg and Brooklyn Nine-Nine for best comedic fare on television. It was a message vote, like basebal writers to Bonds and Clemens. We gave you an inch, you ate a foot-long. Judd Apatow was about to rise to his feet and call everybody misogyonites, but he remembered his wife’s instructions not to move as she went to go have sex the black dude from 12 Years a Slave in the bathroom. It would have been a tough night for Lena Duhnam if she gave a shit what you thought about her. She’l take this humiliation and turn it into more nudity, maybe even gaping POVs. By the time you flip to HBO and accidentally see something resembling a conch coming out of its shell, it’ll already be too late.

(8) Comments

  1. avatar
    Don Kieballs 01/13/2014 11:27

    Sorry Lena but you are a sloppy mess. Big surprise you’re a raging feminist. Hot chicks are never feminists because sexism actually works in a hot chick’s favour.

  2. avatar
    littlewing 01/13/2014 13:07

    amazing, amazing post.

  3. avatar
    Admiral 01/13/2014 13:39

    This post was unreadable.

  4. avatar
    Al Bundy 01/13/2014 14:57

    Only thing worse than a fat ugly chick is a fat ugly chick that believes she is attractive looking.

  5. avatar
    tolos 01/13/2014 15:38

    This site is like the Lena Dunham of blogs now-a-days. Some rabidly love it yet (even though it’s seen much better days), and others simply watch to see what a train wreck looks like. If you question this…. just read the above story and look for comedy. Judd Apatow’s rants are funnier. Did auto correct stop working on your phone at the rest stop when you wrote this one, Lex?

  6. avatar
    Hugh G. Rection 01/13/2014 16:46

    You see, everyone is missing the meta-snarkiness here. Lex’s post is a sloppy pointless mess just like Lena Dunham is. Get it?

  7. avatar
    aquanetta jones 01/13/2014 19:08

    One candidate for starting a nickel a week meth problem…

  8. avatar
    knox 01/13/2014 20:41

    Is he trying to be Dennis Miller?

    Also, I still think Dennis Miller is funny, you Rachel Maddow loving girly men.

You must be to post a comment.