Tori Spelling’s Boobs Could Use a Shot of Super Soldier Serum

I bet Tori Spelling is feeling pretty stupid about ditching her first husband, banging a married Canadian and convincing him to drop his wife to make fresh babies inside of her. Or maybe not. Because her next five life-story books are going to be even better than her last five now that baby-making Dean McDermott has apparently moved out of their house (not the one they were evicted from, the other one they snuck into) to go hang with his buddy who gets him.

He’s furious that Tori is trying to monitor his cell phone, demanding he have a curfew and treating him like a child. Dean and Tori had a nuclear fight [about it], and Dean is staying at a buddy’s house, drinking and being irresponsible like some sort of overgrown frat boy.”

A righteous anger indeed. You make a baby or two outside of wedlock and suddenly your old lady is all up in your occasionally working grill. Back off, woman, this stallion needs to roam.

photo credit: Pacific Coast News