The Women of the View Like To Say Shit

By Lex February 04, 2014 @ 2:22 PM

Barbara Walters Attends Opening Night Of 'A Time To Kill' In New York
The cackling hens on The View tore into each other with various knuckle-headed and completely unfounded accusations on either side of the Woody Allen child diddling allegations. Barbara Walters kicked it off by asserting that Woody Allen couldn’t have molested his daughter Dylan because he’s so sweet with his new set of kids:

I have rarely seen a father as sensitive, as loving and as caring as Woody is and Soon-Yi to these two girls.

Open and shut case right there. Guys who seem like sweet dads can’t possibly be child molesters. Why, he’s not even wearing the officially designted ‘I’m A Total Child Molester’ T-shirt. Nice work-through, Babs.

There’s no way Jenny McCarthy is going to be left off the stupid train; she climbed aboard by insisting that Dylan Farrow must be telling the truth about her dad’s bad touches since she has nothing to gain by coming out with her tragic tale now. Except that she does. She even said so herself in her letter, timing her accusations to shame Hollywood for giving her father a Lifetime Achievement Award., Still, everyone has agreed that so long as Jenny isn’t blindly asserting shit that will kill a million more kids, it’s best just to smile and ignore her.

Sherri Shepherd took Barbara Walters unsupported assertion and flipped it 180-degrees to sound equally as stupid in the opposite direction:

We’ve heard so many cases of people going, ‘He was the most wonderful person in the world. I would have never thought he would’ve …

That’s right Sherri. If a person is a horrible dad, he’s obviously a molester. And if a guy seems to be a good dad, he’s just hiding the fact that he’s a child rapist. In short, all men are pedophiles. Sherri went on to insist that because Woody hooked up with Soon-Yi that means he likes them young, ergo, diddles babies. Doubly so since Soon-Yi was his own stepdaughter, even though, Soon-Yi she wasn’t his stepdaughter. Sherri doesn’t seem to be bound by the general debating rules of facts or evidence or modest levels of intelligence.

Sometimes I wonder how people can stand to watch a bunch of women sit around and talk stupidly for an hour. I mean, when they’re not really hot or naked or being chased by hungry wolves.

Photo Credit: WENN

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(3) Comments

  1. TitsAreNice 02/04/2014 15:18

    Dearest Lex,

    Please stop your attempts at any sort of amusing and/or profound literary musings. Find yourself a sturdy rope and spot from which to drape it, fashion a noose of sorts, and allow this site to continue without your illiterate and pedestrian hindrance.

    Yours truly,

    Life.

  2. Beylerbey 02/04/2014 19:27

    LMAO

  3. Al Bundy 02/04/2014 20:34

    Either Lex is also banging his adopted stepdaughter or he’s Woody Allen’s agent.

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