Woody Allen Says He’s No Kiddy Fiddler

By Michael February 03, 2014 @ 2:30 PM

Woody Allen responded to his daughter Dylan Farrow’s allegations that he diddled her as a little girl. Dylan wrote an op-ed last week in which she attacked Woody’s fans and the actors who work in his movies. She said that since he fingerbanged her when she was 7, Louis C.K. and Alec Baldwin and Cate Blanchett shouldn’t work with him or something. Woody responded saying that he never touched her in her no-no spot and that all of this comes from coaching by his crazy-ass ex Mia Farrow. His other kid with Mia, Ronan also attacked his dad after Woody got a lifetime achievement award from the Golden Globes. He’s convinced Woody is a monster. Obviously, he’s unclear as to how Hollywood chooses its legends.

I don’t believe the sexual abuse allegations. The D.A. did some song and dance back in the day about having evidence but wanting to spare the family the suffering of moving forward with a celebrity trial. You know, like D.A.’s never do. Basically nobody produced any evidence of any wrongdoing outside the fluctuating testimony of a young girl in the middle of an ugly custody battle between her parents. The fact that Woody was fucking Mia’s previously adopted 19-year old daughter Soon Yi Previn  made everybody assume that Mia hated Woody’s guts and would do anything to make him suffer. The entire affair is rather creepy, even if not illegal. Somebody fucked up Dylan to the point that she’s cutting herself and not eating and writing horrific open letters about daddy fondling her in the attic. For this reason, both Woody and Mia need to be sent to The Island of Really Shitty Parents that I just invented in my mind. They can cabin up with the Lohans and the Culkins and play the drinking game I Never entirely about shitty things they did to fuck up their kids. Once everybody has drunk themselves to death, we can declare their kids to be the winners.

(5) Comments

  1. avatar
    Maybe_Observer 02/03/2014 14:55

    The entire affair is rather creepy, even if not illegal.

    …ass-fu*cking a seven year old whilst she plays with her brother’s train set is “not illegal”……..????

    …That is the kind of useful info I come here for…….

  2. avatar
    DrainBammage 02/03/2014 15:08

    Lets hope he dies of some painful shit soon and fsck off to all the defenders.

    Since when is fscking a child you raised considered ok?
    Because he ‘technically’ didnt adopt her?

    This worthless piece of horsecrap doesnt get the benefit of the doubt when another of his kids comes out with allegations.

    Jon Gosselin gets the benefit of the doubt. Woody the lecher? He gets a weekend in jail to get acquainted with a few guys name Tyrone and Bubba who love creeps like him.

    where does he get the benefit of the doubt? because hes famous? because he’s one of the chosen ones? because he lets old farts live vicariously through his tedious fantasies of fscking young girls?

    lets hope someone slips him anti-freeze in his drinks soon. or the prison rape. im good with either.

  3. avatar
    Beylerbey 02/03/2014 16:48

    Woody and Jackass can rot in the same circle of hell.

    Beyond that, I think it’s long past time that the princes who rule this country and get away with all manner of crimes are made to suffer.

  4. avatar
    nickdigger 02/03/2014 18:52

    Wait, “Dylan” was actually the seven year old girl?? All this time, I thought Dylan was the girl’s older brother, writing as her White Knight. No wonder those people are all headcases.

  5. avatar
    Al Bundy 02/04/2014 07:57

    C’mon…does that look like the face of a pedophile?

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