The Lindsay Lohan Sex List Is Here

By Lex March 12, 2014 @ 3:32 PM

How many times have you been out with your friends pretending not to drink because you’re on probation and you ended up writing down a list of everybody you’ve ever doinked on lined pre-numbered paper? Yeah, same here. But Lindsay Lohan did. Then casually tossed it aside at the Beverly Hills Hotel where she was with her girlfriends pretending not to drink. Her list includes the names Adam Levine, Justin Timberlake, Wilmer What’s His Face, Colin Ferrell, and Zac Efron, from when he still liked girls. We kind of knew most of this. Then there’s a bunch of names blurred out by InTouch, presumably because they’re civilians, or just prime extortion candidates for the struggling magazine. Either way, when your name appears on a list confirming you as Eskimo brothers with Colin Farrell, it’s probably time to get a shot or tourniquet your penis in some manner. I suppose you could view the discovery of this crumpled up list as merely coincidentally timed to the debut of Lindsay’s crazy boring new reality show on the Fat Oprah Network. If you were a moron.

Photo Credit: Pacific Coast News

(10) Comments

  1. avatar
    Mud Nugget 03/12/2014 16:42

    Where are the other 10 pages of her list?

  2. avatar
    DrainBamaged 03/12/2014 18:46

    You only had to write Colin Farrel twice in one paragraph….

  3. avatar
    Beylerbey 03/12/2014 20:16

    Bad move, Lindsey. Your future husband is going to want to pretend you’re not a whore, even though deep down he knows the truth.

  4. avatar
    rdd 03/12/2014 21:15

    That is one list you don’t want your name on!!

  5. avatar
    ThisSiteIsGayPornography 03/12/2014 21:43

    If she is free from STDs then she is still decent looking enough to bang. Her tits have held up pretty well thus far and she only looks like she is in in her late 30′s. I imagine if she is alive in the next 5-10 years she will go the route of Carrie Fisher, Kathleen Turner, Kirstie Allie. Hopefully for her I am wrong.

  6. avatar
    Al Bundy 03/13/2014 04:55

    So where’s the list of all the women she’s gone down on?

  7. avatar
    Al Bundy 03/13/2014 05:01

    Don’t see Aaron Carter’s name on this list.

    Could it have been crossed out because he was a underage minor at the time?

  8. avatar
    SweetAngel 03/13/2014 06:11

    Don’t see Shaun White’s name on this list.

  9. avatar
    joenasr 03/13/2014 06:23

    Bitch doesn’t know how to spell Phoenix.

  10. avatar
    Doctor Mindbender 03/13/2014 07:29

    Didn’t Wilmer Valderama take her anal cherry? I thought I heard that on Fresh Air.

You must be to post a comment.