Jillian Michaels Is On the Side of Good

By Lex April 29, 2014 @ 4:45 PM

Jillian Michaels took time away from yelling at fat people to yell at a PETA rally to get rid of Central Park’s horse drawn carriages. People have been trying to get rid of those cloyingly romantic carriages since as far back as I can remember. The new New York City mayor and his lesbian wife and a whole bunch of celebrities are out to replace the horse drawn carriages with electric vintage cars, because that is totally environmentally award worthy thinking. The anti-carriage crowd used to complain that the old horses were high on steroid suppositories and had to consume their own feces or something horrific like that. Then the carriage people got Red Cross inspectors to come and show how nicely their horse prisoners are really treated. So PETA counter punched with the the alarmingly shrill voices of Jillian Michaels, Alec Baldwin, Lea Michele, and Pink. That’s a road trip foursome from hell. The good and more evolved people are now claiming the horse drawn carriages are too dangerous to be traveling the city streets with cars and pedestrians. Two carriages knocked each other over last year, just to definitively prove their point on safety. Liam Neeson rushed to the defense of the horse drawn carriages, causing everyone to reflect on how much more manly he is than his celebrity opposition, except for Pink when she’s skipping her estrogen, naturally.

(6) Comments

  1. avatar
    Doctor Mindbender 04/29/2014 17:26

    You could not measure the amount of shit I give about this issue.
    Who wants to bet that, as soon as the carriage rides end, all of the horses are turned into glue or dog food?

  2. avatar
    VMS 04/29/2014 17:28

    Do these useful idiots understand that this is nothing more than a land developer grab by one of the mayor’s biggest campaign contributors? No carriages, no horses. No horses, no stables. No stables, multi-million dollar condos and money in the pocket of one of the mayor’s contributors.

    Which is fine. But that’s what this is about. Then again, maybe Alec and Jillian are looking for a nice place to live next to Central Park…

  3. avatar
    Beylerbey 04/29/2014 18:29

    She’ll make the C list if it kills her.

  4. avatar
    Hugh G. Rection 04/29/2014 22:18

    De Blasio’s real name is Warren Wilhelm. Which is German for “worthless cunt”.

  5. avatar
    Hugh G. Rection 04/29/2014 22:24

    De Blasio’s real name is Warren Wilhelm, Jr. Which is German for “worthless cvnt”.

  6. avatar
    makingyourlifehell 04/30/2014 00:29

    //support.google.com/adsense/contact/violation_report how daare you go against Peta I am having every one of our members send this form in no money no website no hurt horses

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