Jaden Smith and Kylie Jenner Are The Face of Domestic Terrorism

By Lex May 19, 2014 @ 6:21 PM

Kylie-Jenner-and-Jaden-Smith-in-Black-and-White-Photo

Think of Kylie Jenner, and the Will Smith dunderhead kids and this Moises Arias bratpack leader as those for whom Scientology and Instagram just ins’t providing answers to key questions such as Why Am I Here, Am I In Control of My Destiny, and Why Does My Sister Get the Mercedes While I Get Stuck With the Range Rover. Apparently, these kids are so thirsty for the kind of knowledge you can’t get in a stupid school house, they’ve formed their own mini religion, the Orgonite Society, following the teachings of cult leader Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh.

Jaden has really dived headfirst into this radical movement. He thinks he is a ‘philosopher’ and Willow is just as into it

Like most cult leaders, Rajneesh writes a lot of books that the children of wealthy parents can buy for $19.95 and pretend they’re tuned into something greater than their fellow mall rats. Meanwhile, Rajneesh bangs the snot out the not fat cult members and gets all the good drugs. Also, his group back in 1984 kinda sorta contaminated local restaurant salad bars with salmonella because their pyramid crystals told them get that shit done. The actor kids in Calabasas lack the ambition for much plotting, plus they don’t dine at midscale restaurants with salad bars, so mostly count on lots of Jaden Smith tweets about knowledge, Willow Smith talking about how her kid body belongs to the Tree Gods and occasionally 20-year old Moises Arias, and Kylie Jenner getting her nails done on camera. The latter is more about funding. Every cult needs a Tom Cruise to bankroll the picnics.

It’s hard to see how this all could go horribly wrong. Sorry, I mean, it’s hard to see how we will give a shit when this inevitably all goes horribly wrong.

wwtdd

(1) Comment

  1. avatar
    Al (Ted) Bundy 05/20/2014 12:19

    Really? People are still getting down with the Rajneesh? Here in Oregon he’s still considered to be something akin to Bin Laden, after his crew tried to rig local elections, plotted to kill the Oregon attorney general and then engaged in some fun bio-terrorism, but hey, I can see the Smith kids following him, since, you know, they’re idiots.

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