Kate Middleton Bare Ass Sparks German Aggression

You can’t just run a photo montage in Deutschland’s leading cultural magazine comparing Kate Middleton’s bare ass to various Kardashian sister ass and not expect some kind of 007 style response. Kate Middleton is the best looking royal by a margin of infinity times one hundred goofy ears, receding hair lines, and inbred physical impediments. But unlike her brutal looking royal sorority sisters, Kate doesn’t sew led weights into her skirts to keep them from going Marilyn when hopping about the world doing whatever the fuck it is that British royals do. So, we get to see her bare white arse a lot. Which is a good thing for England. Because that empire has been shrinking fast in the past hundred years. They used to rule half the world, now they can barely hold on to London discos. That Duchess bottom isn’t anything like a Kardashian ass. Kate’s pucker is the neat little cork to plug up British diminution. Kardashian ass is what you lay down in the Channel to scuttle the Bismarck. Make no mistake, this is an act of war.

Photo credit: Bild.de