Pregnancy Looks Delicious on JWoww

By Lex May 29, 2014 @ 2:47 PM

Jenni JWoww Farley Looking Very Pregnant Out In New York
I’m usually skeptical when people I’ve never heard of start making babies with people I don’t care about, but JWoww certainly seems to be bucking the trend. I admire a woman who takes a big risk of ruining the only thing we ever slightly cared about her so she can have a baby out of wedlock of her own to love. TMZ wasn’t so kind to JWoww, posting these photos of JWoww looking like a 50-something bloated Shanghai madam who badly needs some tiger claw balm and pretending JWoww was a pregnant Lil Kim. Those jokemeisters at TMZ are really on their game today. JWoww didn’t think it was so funny.


Like a budding Maya Angelou. JWoww also included a picture of herself looking less super disturbingly Pekingense and flipping the bird. JWoww soon realized she has a makeup line or some other crappy merchandise for the girls so she issued a sort of apology on Instagram laced with a pregnancy victim fat shaming tinge that sits well with corporate advertisers:

Regretting last pic lol not because I don’t think TMZ is a joke and people like them are the reason why are society is so fucked up but because of myself. For one second they made me feel insecure and made me question my hair and makeup today and Roger said ‘you liked how you looked today… You left happy and had no regrets until they wrote something’ he’s write [sic] I felt fine. Then Roger said, ‘your [sic] not weak so stop acting it’ and he’s right, I’m not. So kiss my ass TMZ and every other hater.

For their part, TMZ felt utterly remorseful that JWoww’s angry response got them a million more ad impressions. They promised to write six awesome sports stories not about sports as contrition. As for JWoww, what could she do but hug her baby daddy, that big lug. Just look how blindly supportive he is of the drunk party girl he knocked up. That’s so fucking Roger. I’d be shocked if these two didn’t last until the fairytale sunset.

Photo Credit:, AKM-GSI

(7) Comments

  1. avatar
    Beylerbey 05/29/2014 15:48

    Dear God.

  2. avatar
    Darkpage 05/29/2014 16:21

    Can we move on…this is painful to look at.

  3. avatar
    BillyMitchellisaGoldenGod 05/29/2014 17:13

    When did getting pregnant make you oriental?

  4. avatar
    Hugh G. Rection 05/29/2014 19:44

    Damn this is a puzzler. I can’t decide if she looks like a fat chinese,a fat Japanese, or a fat filipina.

  5. avatar
    Beylerbey 05/29/2014 19:51


  6. avatar
    Johnny Big Rig 05/30/2014 02:27

    Being pregnant is a good excuse for having a huge stomach, maybe some swollen ankles, breasts, and a big ass.. Putting on 10-15 lbs aside from the baby weight.. Then there are girls like her who decide it’s a great excuse for putting on an extra 30-40 lbs.

    You’re fat, Jenni. Own it. The baby is responsible for half your weight gain at the most.

  7. avatar
    PingaTip 05/30/2014 15:39

    Her face is so jacked up and stretched out that the weight gain is going to make her head explode.

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