Khloe Kardashian Re-Opens Her Vagina Today

By Lex July 28, 2014 @ 2:29 PM


Nobody said dating a Muslim rapper was going to be easy, but Khloe Kardashian never asked for easy. Khloe’s been respecting the Ramadan restrictions of her boyfriend French Montana these past month, including no sex of any kind, outside of whoever he’s fucking on the side, naturally. Khloe admits she’s been frisky without her Moroccan mustang plowing her spacious meadows. Fuck, I just tasted my puke. She’s been teasing the hell out of him with her outrageously large and robust body in the manner that Hulk Hogan used to tease his floored opponents before the finishing leg drop. Ramadan is all about putting your faith to the test. Keeping your hands off that emotionally disturbed mammoth for a month can only bring you closer to your god.

(6) Comments

  1. avatar
    Puritan 07/28/2014 16:08

    O.J. wants some muslim grand kids … oh wait, I mean the hair dresser wants some grand kids …

  2. avatar
    Beylerbey 07/28/2014 19:28

    She really traded up.

  3. avatar
    Roadshitter6.5 07/28/2014 20:47

    Now she doesn’t have to eat pork and if she dons a burka it’s a trade up for us all.

  4. avatar
    Maybe_Observer 07/29/2014 07:59


    With regard to intercourse during the night in Ramadaan, this is permitted and is not forbidden, and the time when it is permitted lasts until the onset of dawn. When dawn comes, intercourse becomes forbidden.

    ….so…..”nooners” NO!

    Midnight at the Oasis? Yes.

  5. avatar
    Hugh G. Rection 07/29/2014 08:55

    How do we slur her appropriately here? Muslim mudshark? Mudsharker of muslims? Hadji coal burner? Seems to me we should have an answer for this already.

  6. avatar
    Beylerbey 07/29/2014 18:50

    Camel rider?

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