Mickey Rourke’s Got Putin’s Back (VIDEO)

By Matt August 11, 2014 @ 3:03 PM

Mickey Rourke offered a ringing endorsement of Vladamir Putin while in Russia. It seems that dudes who are cartoonish symbols of masculinity born out of self loathing find a way to relate to one another, and being a douche cuts deeper than politics. Rourke definitely wants to deep throat Putin’s man meat, which given Putin’s hyperbolic homophobia is a definite possibility. That’s usually how that works out. The first guy to talk about chopping wood and beating up queers is also the first one getting his ass railed in the back row of lockers. Rourke summed up his hard on for Putin while wearing a shirt with his face surrounded by flowers, because that’s not gay at all:

“I met him a couple of times and he was a real gentleman, a very cool regular guy, looked me right in the eye, I think he is a good guy. If I didn’t, believe I wouldn’t wear the T-shirt.”

It could be that Rourke is vastly uninformed and brain damaged as opposed to an ardent supporter of a nationalist regime bent on reliving their past glory of pretending to dominate America.

“I have a Russian girlfriend, that’s all I care about. Her father is a good person, her mother’s great, her babushka’s wonderful. To me it’s all about family. I don’t give a fuckk about the politics. That’s not my department.”

Everyone likes to bang Russian chicks but that doesn’t mean getting behind the wheel of a Soviet tank. I don’t mind that Rourke doesn’t care about politics, but Putin does. It would be like slapping an Obama sticker on your bumper and claiming you just like the letter O and Barack’s taste in the hot caramel ladies. Rourke will remain in Russia until he heads off to North Korea to let Kim Jong un beat him in a televised arm wrestling match in exchange for funding Rourke’s original movie about an scarred street fighter who fucks a hot Russian girl a lot.

wwtdd

(1) Comment

  1. avatar
    Beylerbey 08/11/2014 16:21

    “Well, I don’t like Obama, so that must mean I have to lick Putin’s asshole. Because they can’t both be evil.”

    –every conservative on every disqus thread on the interwebz

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