Monica Lewinsky Doesn’t Like Being the Butt

Monica Lewinsky was offended by a reference to herself while watching Orange Is The New Black. She penned an online summary of her experience in which she bestows heroic status on herself for having the courage to write the article. In the Netflix show, one lazily developed archetypical women’s prison character said in reference to trying to frame a male guard:

“Lewinsky that shit… get some splooge on your uniform.”

Lewinsky was apparently aghast, either out of embarrassment for herself or the show’s shitty writing.

“There was a vulgar reference to my last name and DNA. I did what I usually do in these situations where the culture throws me a shard of my former self. After the cringing embarrassment, the whiff of shame, and the sense that I am no longer an agent running my own life, I shuddered, I got up off the sofa, and I turned it off.”

It’s true that of all the cultural icons to choose from in referencing a woman who took down a famous man by preserving his jizz on her dress, why do we always seem to pick on Lewinsky? I guess that must be the shard of her former self she’s talking about. Or maybe the whiff of shame.

Following her inarticulate outrage, Lewinsky digressed into a tenuous body image analogy, which is boring as fuck and does not involve blow jobs, cigars, or being a chubby horny Jewish girl from Brentwood with ambitions so I stopped reading. I can get my latter day feminist diatribes from any one on Jezebel. With Lewinsky, I want to hear about Clinton sex and snapping XL thongs. Shard! Look out.

Photo Credit: Getty Images