Christian Bale Is No Ashton Kutcher

Christian Bale has been tapped to play Steve Jobs in a new biopic. You might recall a Steve Jobs film coming out only last year. Typically two movies about the same topic wouldn’t be made within such a brief period, unless one of them featured a hilariously inept Ashton Kutcher pretending his fake beard made him an actor. Kutcher’s performance in 2014’s Jobs was almost hard to turn away from, but watching him get hung out to dry in a painful two hour death of embarrassment is oddly validating in a morbid way. It would be like watching your friend who claims his high school football coach screwed him out of an NFL career be inserted into a Packers game and immediately paralyzed. The new movie features a capable director and serious lead actor so it has potential to be pretty solid. Put your trucker hat back on Ashton and see how a fucking man does it.

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