Peter Jackson To Lay Off The Tolkien

Peter Jackson won’t be making any more films based on the work of J.R. Tolkien because the Tolkien Estate won’t allow it. Tolkien’s son Christopher is in charge of licensing his dead father’s work, but is not approving anything new because he thinks the films bastardize his father’s books about little elves and hobbits and shit:

“The chasm between the beauty and seriousness of the work and what it has become has overwhelmed me. The commercialisation has reduced the aesthetic and philosophical impact of the creation to nothing. There is only one solution for me: to turn my head away.”

It took this guy a long time to come to this rather obvious conclusion because it’s total bullshit. The producers of the Lord of the Rings trilogy had a contract to share profits with the Tolkien family. In a stunningly ballsy move they claimed the movies didn’t make a profit due to the high production costs of finding apple boxes for Rudy to stand on. Don’t hate the player, hate the game. Enough with the pretentious rigmarole Chris. For a cool billion I could film a 120 minute take of Gandolf cornholing Frodo in front of your daddy’s grave while you counted the bills.

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