January 21, 2015 | celebrity | matt-ralston | 0 Comments
Tiger Woods went to watch Lindsey Vonn ski while rocking a creepy skull printed face mask and missing his front tooth. People noticed, because it’s pretty weird and it’s Tiger Woods and he’s fucking Lindsay Vonn. Woods’ agent released a bullshit sounding statement saying the tooth was knocked out by a news camera as he was being crowded by reporters in a tent. If you’re going to slander a certain group, you might to go for the people who don’t report on things professionally and can easily vet your story. Nicola Colli, the organizer of the event, said this:
“I was among those who escorted him from the tent to the snowmobile and there was no such incident.”
He sounds pretty confident. It’s unclear what actually happened, but most dudes don’t like it when they catch Tiger Woods balls deep in their girlfriend after her swing shift at Outback. Woods’ teeth have always looked like they were purchased at a boutique in SoHo and don’t look particularly human. I’m sure he can order a replacement online if he’s not distracted by his bookmarked torture porn while logging on. Woods out.