Alex Rodriguez Seems Authentic

Right after his steroid supplier was sentenced to prison, Alex Rodriguez issued an apology to the fans which he wrote out by hand possibly while shaving or having sex with a WWE Diva, or both. I remember in high school some of the teachers demanded work be typed. Maybe writing it in lopsided print will piss someone off. They didn’t specify and I’m a cocksucker.

“I accept the fact that many of you will not believe my apology or anything that I say at this point. I understand why and that’s on me.”

We get that you’re a terrible person. Not because you took PEDs or even lied. You can just tell. This is weird timing. I’m guessing it has something to do with the $61 million owed to Rodriguez or maybe Jiminy Cricket just got back from an extended stay in Baja. It’s a solid insincere gesture for the ages. I saw your fingers were crossed. There remains one and only one way to apologize in this world. Do your job and shut the fuck up. A-Rod currently 0-2. This is just like the playoffs.

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