We Need to Clone the King of Jordan

I’m not a big fan of picking fights halfway around the world. If we’re going to shoot up maniacal nut jobs, I’d just assume we strafe the cartel mobsters just south of Tucson. But if you’re in, you’re in. You can’t go halfway into war. There’s no dipping your toes in the pool of crazy ass beheading Islamic jihadists. The King of Jordan got a bug up his ass when ISIS decided to take one of their captured Jordanian hostages and burn him alive in a cage, just for Sunday shits and giggles. Rather than suggest the upstart ragamuffins of ISIS could maybe use some free community college and more after school programs, the king took a less socially responsible position:

Jordan’s King Abdullah II, a former commander of his country’s special forces , angrily vowed to bombard the Islamic State until his military runs “out of fuel and bullets”

Then he posted a Facebook photo of his casting shots for The Expendables 4 and quoted Clint Eastwood’s character from Unforgiven:

Any man I see out there, I’m gonna kill him. Any son of a bitch takes a shot at me, I’m not only going to kill him, I’m going to kill his wife and all his friends and burn his damn house down.”

If war is the answer what is the question? How about, what’s the last face you’re going to see in this pitiful life of yours? King Abdullah II, motherfuckers.  Somebody get this guy a goblet of lambs blood and a blow job. It’s time to get to work.

Photo credit: Facebook