Bethany Hamilton, who held the Oprah crowd’s attention span for a brief period after her arm was bitten off by a shark, is pregnant. Had it been cancer they wouldn’t have noticed. Hamilton still surfs five hours a day, and recently went on The Amazing Race with her youth pastor husband. If you were confused, they’re both better than you. Despite having one arm, Hamilton is ranked 53rd on the Association of Surfing Professionals World Ranking. At first this led me to believe surfing isn’t a real sport, then I remembered all those nubby armed MLB pitchers from the 90’s. Then I saw some guy is playing D-1 college basketball with one arm and my world went into a spiral. How am I not in one of the major sports leagues? I have two arms and at least four pairs of Nikes. This isn’t about you anymore, Hamilton. Where’s the batting cages?
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