Cruel Intentions Reunion

The cast of Cruel Intentions reunited after sixteen years to commemorate the last movie any of them made that anybody saw. Some joked how lucky Brandon Lee was to die on the set of his 90’s breakout film, but nobody laughed because it was simply too painful. It’s tough to peak at twenty. Far worse to never have peaked at all. The film itself was merely Dangerous Liaisons re-set in the world of rich New York prep school kids, with the role of Lena Dunham played by people you were hoping would get naked. The movie set in motion of series of bad marriages and relationships between cast members that would leave each with various babies and sores that would linger well past the lifespan of the film itself. Reunions are a tricky business. The best strategy remains to get hair plugs and bring along a hot escort. When anybody asks what you do, respond, what don’t I do. Then order your escort to blow you. Hack.

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