Lindsay Lohan Scrambling

After lying and fudging her community service hours multiple times while wearing a butt plug a judge has ordered Lindsey Lohan to complete her 125 hours before May 28th. That’s seven hours a day, seven days a week. We’re talking a lot of birdwatching. Lohan is apparently having trouble finding places to complete the hours but I heard the peep show in the meatpacking district needs a mop guy. Knock twice and welcome back.

If Lohan doesn’t finally fulfill her obligation there’s a good chance she’ll be heading back to jail with an itchy fire crotch and generic Valtrex. Lohan was previously claiming that performing in her London play counted as community service but a judge ruled that’s only for the spectators. Something tells me she’s not going to make it and still be let off the hook. Minor celebrities get all the special treatment, plus The AIDS ward is backed up. You can’t really get pregnant from anal right?

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