Chris Brown Held Hostage, Day Who Gives a Fuck

The Philippines are holding Chris Brown in lock down in Manilla because he fucked over a powerful church group by ditching out on a planned concert this past New Year’s Eve. According to the Church and Christ group, they fronted Brown one million clams and Brown stiffed them with some lame excuse and I guess forgot to return the cash. When Chris Brown showed up on Tuesday to perform in Manilla, the local authorities informed him he wasn’t going anywhere until he dealt with defrauding tons of distraught Pacquiaos on New Years.

Chris Brown has taken to Instagram beseeching his fans and Obama to help him get the fuck out of the Philippines, asking what it is he needs to do in order to leave. I’m guessing the answer to that is around one million dollars. Plus maybe a half dozen ’03 Corollas with red bows. If Brown hadn’t blown off his street gang cohorts for robbing his house, they’d probably be building a Kon Tiki raft right now to go rescue his ass. Once you view this not as Brown being held in the Philippines, but Brown being kept away from the U.S, you start to understand why nobody is moving quickly to help out. Stay strong, Chris. Maybe buy a house and start planting some cane. The rescue of guys who beat women needs to be carefully planned.

Photo credit: Chris Brown/Instagram