Laura Prepon Has Outside Help

Laura Prepon credits her profound acting performances on Orange is the New Black to a stepped up commitment to playing with electrified Lego sets at the Scientology center. It’s possible her premise is false. As well as her conclusion. She just seems so damn happy with her Scientology sessions it’s hard not to get caught up in the enthusiasm. Laura emoted much of her inner tingle in an interview for Celebrity magazine, available only to Scientology members for six easy payments of total loss of contact with sane family members:

I am so much bigger than this career and industry. It’s my job and it’s very important to me, but, when I have huge wins in session, and when you really cognate that you are a thetan and you have a mind and body, and that the MEST universe does not control you—it puts things into perspective.

MEST stands for matter, energy, space, and time. It’s how L. Ron Hubbard described the physical universe, like paychecks from Netflix for starring in OITNB. I’m sure those don’t get cashed. MEST was also the core of Hubbard’s racist views on Negros and the Yellow-Men during his more progressive thinking years. Actors are all sorts of crazy. If believing in yourself as a billion year old ethereal life form helps you get your clothes off for sex scenes with Taylor Schilling, session away. The other option is cocaine. Prepon won’t kill herself or anybody else on Scientology. Either way you wake up broke in ten years feeling like an asshole.