Caitlyn Jenner Claims No Cock

According to anonymous Caitlyn Jenner sources, most notably her publicist speaking with a Kleenex over the telephone mouthpiece, Caitlin Jenner is not the least bit into dudes. She’s ‘into women just as much as Bruce.’ This would be the Bruce who couldn’t sleep with any of his three wives past holding his nose to make some babies he didn’t care to raise so much. Kris Jenner claims she cried many nights as Bruce flipped through the walk-in closets looking for the perfect chiffon while she lay forsaken in their marital bed boning herself with a dildo fashioned after Marcus Allen, the Raider years. So, Caitlyn is also into women that much.

Here’s an alternate theory. Bruce Jenner has been dreaming of hot juicy man cock since he was a boy with a hyper masculine jock dad who just wouldn’t understand. Bruce spent his entire life wishing her were a woman so he could not think of himself as a nancy boy cock gobbler. I only took one semester of psych, but I’ll bring my evidence to the APA and match it any day to the  crap they’re peddling on I Am Cait. Is it important? Nope. Fuck who you want to fuck. But if you’re claiming your multimillion dollar E! payday is in the name of saving young people on the brink, don’t be a liar. Your fake face might freeze with that look.

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