Kim Davis Chained Heat Yum Yum

The Kentucky county clerk refusing to provide marriage licenses to gay couples was thrown in jail by a Federal judge for violating the Supreme Court ruling that got everybody who is a super good person to rainbow their Facebook profile pic. County Clerk Kim Davis has been married four times herself, which isn’t a commentary on her allegiance to fundamental Scripture so much as an explanation of the kind of dating options for men in her little nook of Kentucky. It’s the kind of place where your mom is County Clerk, then you become County Clerk, then you pass it off to your kids. Which is Kim Davis’ precise story. And it would have continued to go along swimmingly if not for those meddling kids. I mean, gays.

Unlike those private cake makers who don’t want to make wedding cakes for two grooms, it’s pretty clear that a pubic official can’t refuse service to gays on the grounds that it goes against her personal beliefs. Nevertheless, there are up to ten protestors and fifteen cable news outlets parked in front of the jail where Kim David sits and stews in a fetid puddle of her own feces. That last part I intuited. Everybody who is screaming at Kim Davis that if she ought to resign and get a different job have no idea of Kim Davis’ job prospects. It’s County Clerk or bagging at the Piggly Wiggly and only one of those two pays $80K and involves no physical activity.