Jaden Smith Has a Felonious Girlfriend

Jaden Smith was hanging around the Art Basel scene in Miami just so you’d remember to reflexively hate European traveling art shows. His scientology school has breaks in early December so he’s been on one since December 2009. He was also showing off his new girlfriend, Sarah Snyder, who looks twelve, but she’s older and recently arrested for grand larceny. She snatched a handbag worth more than Bryan Singer hush money envelopes and apparently that’s illegal. Even if you’re a blond spinner who gets around. Jaden says he loves Sarah’s free spirit. She says she loves Jaden’s music and his family’s access to top notch attorneys. She looks remarkably cute when shrugging her shoulders about where his last three cars disappeared to. If Smith wasn’t a self-taught astro-physicists, I’d be worried he was just a mark.

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