Lena Dunham Gets A Ring

Lena Dunham has a boyfriend. All you girls feeling sorry for yourselves for being single should feel even sorrier. Dunham’s boyfriend, musician Jack Antonoff, put a ring on it. It being Dunham’s sausage finger. Stay calm. It’s not an engagement ring. He should be so lucky to lock up this prize for a lifetime. It’s merely an anniversary gift commemorating the first ring he ever bought her thought to be lost somewhere in her fat folds. Dunham’s in no rush to get married.

I love my boyfriend, I’m very lucky to call him my life partner, but you will sooner see me pregnant with twins.

If you closely follow Dunham’s OB/GYN procedures she highlights on her social feeds, you’ll recall she just had eight pounds of undigested bacon fat removed from her ovaries, rendering a ton of her viscera unable to produce children. So she just made a funny.

Antonoff once dated Scarlett Johansson. That level of dating drop is on the scale of a Guinness Record. Is Leo DiCaprio banging Rebel Wilson? No? Then this is the record.

Photo credit: Lena Dunham / Instagram