Because the world needs more AARP members in rock and roll cover bands, Aerosmith guitarist Joe Perry, Alice Cooper, and Johnny Depp sans lesbian wife formed The Hollywood Vampires to go on national tour in search of decent cocaine. Joe Perry made it one song into the set during the Coney Island appearance before tapping out and losing consciousness off-stage. Heart attacks are rock and roll at twenty-seven. At sixty-five they’re more like watching a former stud horse be put down with one to the back of the mane.
Perry was rushed to the hospital with a case of being way too fucking old to be tweeking and performing after 8pm. He survived and he can’t wait to join the band out on the road again. Or form a new super myocardial infarction group with Meatloaf. Baby boomers aren’t just a problem for Social Security solvency. Rock and Roll is getting old and it’s not pretty. It shouldn’t be that hard to mercy kill off people who take pills with reckless abandon. Don’t worry, your grandpa’s safe. Unless he picks up a guitar and hair weaves.
Photo Credit: Splash