Johnny Depp Experienced Domestic Violence At The Hands Of Amber Heard

August 4, 2018 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

My first thought when the idea of being beaten by my lover Amber Heard is, I could have been beaten by worse. I can just imagine all of the unreported domestic violence experienced by men in Hollywood. Do you... READ MORE

Johnny Depp Sued For Punching Man, Just Got Shitty Tattoo, Overall Doing Well

July 10, 2018 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

  Welcome to the story of Johnny Depp and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Tattoo. I mean day. I mean year. I mean face. Depp is in deep after allegedly punching a location manager, Gregg Brooks, working on Depp’s flick City... READ MORE

Johnny Depp World’s Oldest Emo Kid In Bizarrely Candid Interview

June 21, 2018 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

In the words of Depp's favorite artist: "He was a skater boy. She said see you later boy. He wasn't good enough for her." READ MORE

Remember Jesse From MTV? This Is Him Now. Feel Old Yet?

June 4, 2018 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

Johnny Depp’s definitely not drug addiction ::wink:: is definitely not catching up to him, and he definitely wasn’t recently spotted looking like he hasn’t had a glass of water in ten years. Depp was leaving a plane with his... READ MORE

Johnny In Depp Doo Doo Again

May 5, 2018 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Hunter S. Thompson may now also add prophet to his list of achievements as The Rum Diary was loosely based on Johnny Depp’s life.  Drugs, Amber Heard, and jail most likely being in his immediate future. He’s managed to... READ MORE

Blind Item: GOP Candidate Filmed Having Sex With 2 College Guys At “St. Charles House Of Horrors”

March 29, 2018 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

There was a political candidate who had all the backing and money in the world last year on the Republican side. He was then shown a video of himself with two college guys engaged in several hours of sex.... READ MORE

J.K Rowling Joins the Knot Twisting Party Over Johnny Depp

December 7, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

J.K. Rowling employed a big ball of words, rationalizations, and circular logic to explain to Harry Potter fans why she's good with Johnny Depp being the star of the next Fantastic Beasts film release.


Harry Potter Franchise Defends Depp

December 2, 2017 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

All men are no longer allowed to make mistakes and must be on their P’s and Q’s when it comes to their colleague’s T and A.


Feminists Posing as Potterheads Want Depp Banished

November 20, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Johnny Depp is poised to have a significant role in the upcoming sequel to Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them as feminists posing as Harry Potter fans are insisting he be sacked.


Johnny Depp Losing Five Homes

November 7, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

You can sort of sniff when you're near the end of a Monopoly game and you're not going to be the eventual winner. In his few sober moments, Johnny Depp must be coming to a similar sensibility.