Johnny In Depp Doo Doo Again

May 5, 2018 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Hunter S. Thompson may now also add prophet to his list of achievements as The Rum Diary was loosely based on Johnny Depp’s life.  Drugs, Amber Heard, and jail most likely being in his immediate future. He’s managed to... READ MORE

Blind Item: GOP Candidate Filmed Having Sex With 2 College Guys At “St. Charles House Of Horrors”

March 29, 2018 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

There was a political candidate who had all the backing and money in the world last year on the Republican side. He was then shown a video of himself with two college guys engaged in several hours of sex.... READ MORE

J.K Rowling Joins the Knot Twisting Party Over Johnny Depp

December 7, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

J.K. Rowling employed a big ball of words, rationalizations, and circular logic to explain to Harry Potter fans why she's good with Johnny Depp being the star of the next Fantastic Beasts film release.

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Harry Potter Franchise Defends Depp

December 2, 2017 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

All men are no longer allowed to make mistakes and must be on their P’s and Q’s when it comes to their colleague’s T and A.

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Feminists Posing as Potterheads Want Depp Banished

November 20, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Johnny Depp is poised to have a significant role in the upcoming sequel to Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them as feminists posing as Harry Potter fans are insisting he be sacked.

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Johnny Depp Losing Five Homes

November 7, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

You can sort of sniff when you're near the end of a Monopoly game and you're not going to be the eventual winner. In his few sober moments, Johnny Depp must be coming to a similar sensibility. 

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Johnny Depp Hoarding Kardashian Kouch

July 21, 2017 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

How far reaching is the Kardashian Klan's reach of ruin? There might be a conspiracy somewhere buried in those couch cushions.

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Suing Your Reps Is Fraught With Peril

June 26, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

In Hollywood, your professional reps and personal assistants are like your family. So, only loyal to the dollar. Assume while you've been drinking most of your adult life, your esteemed ten-percenters have been sober and learning shit about you... READ MORE

Johnny Depp Stone Cold Assassin

June 23, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

In his current physical state, Johnny Depp couldn't assassinate a wingless bee. In his previous physical state, it would've been a fair fight. The bracelet jiggling wino and self-deluded hippy cowboy made an appearance at the Glastonbury arts festival... READ MORE

Johnny Depp Spent Like a Drunken Sailor

June 21, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

The business management firm Johnny Depp is suing for leaving him cash poor after twenty years of raking massive paydays is countersuing and releasing emails sent from their reps to Depp urging him to stop spending like a fucking... READ MORE