Lisa Opie Graduates Northward

Lisa Opie won a beauty pageant on one of the Caribbean islands where people go on package deals to fuck other people’s wives. Opie is a more practical pageant contestant. If she’s got stories on billionaires ogling her or making dirty jokes in the dressing room, she’s keeping them to herself. Good girl. Loose lips sink ships. Or they can secure you a sweet loft apartment and some grocery money. Whole Foods apples cost three bucks. That’s a thousand dollars a year in apples. Smart girls do the math.

Opie was one of the young bikini clad daily models posing up and down Miami Beach waiting for magic. Like a swarthy nightclub owner with some English. The field got crowded and she drove up the I-95 to New York where sheer dresses and lack of undergarments are going to get you a decent Q score. Selfies can’t hurt. Look at me now, mom. I’m on top of the world. And you wanted me to become an esthetician. Tell everybody on the island their little girl has… somebody just stole my purse.

_{Photo Credit: FameFlynet}