Melissa Lori Tinier Bikini

Self-described “heavily published model” Melissa Lori continues her experiment of laying in a thong on Miami Beach to see what opportunity comes knocking. The food trucks are decent and at some point an ocean-soaked man with decent prospects may come up the beach out of an ’67 Buick boat.

Thongs and designer purses don’t hurt, but if you want to really look native you need to consider spray tan. You can get short white women with spunk in Jersey. Time to write a post lambasting Trump while secretly hoping he picks you next. America hasn’t changed that much. You’re still too young to be ripping my grandmother’s eyebrows.

_{Photo Credit: FameFlynet}