Nature is a tricky thing to fuck with. That was the message of Jurassic Park, it’s eight sequels, and fifty-seven ripoffs. Of course, scientists are constantly fucking with nature as that’s also how we get the polio vaccine and sugar-free cheesecake. Sometimes you get a guilt-free snack bite, sometimes a T-rex that consumes vaguely ethnically diverse amusement park-goers. Or sometimes when the devil’s feeling frisky, you get Mickey Rourke.
Mickey Rourke has never announced that he’s becoming a broad-chested woman. Not officially. Whatever the fuck is going on with that purse and purse dog is unnerving. Also, that’s a lot of cleavage for midday, Mickey. You don’t want the guys to think you’re easy.
Rourke has been experimenting with plastic surgery and injectables purchased from behind the Arby’s from a guy named after a primary color for years now. Along with the old guy muscles comes the Caitlyn tranny after-birth. It’s possible that pretty terrier is really a tumor growth from the wrist. The purse definitely was purchased. Knock-off. It’s one thing to see millennial males borne of emasculated culture appear breezy, it’s another when former masculine icons go kitty cat. Everybody’s balls take a hit.
Photo Credit: FameFlynet