Miranda Kerr’s Security Guard Better Than Kim Kardashian’s

A guy tried to scale the gate of the Malibu home of Miranda Kerr, the Australian Victoria’s Secret model who used to be married to Orlando Bloom, but now she’s marrying the dude who owns Snapchat. Pure Kevin Durant move. The intruder was confronted by Kerr’s security guard and promptly stabbed the guard in the eye. Rude greeting. The guard pulled his gun and shot the intruder. That’s the appropriate response.

Kerr wasn’t home at the time because she was at another location explaining to her young son why mommy is fucking a new man and the intricacies of pre-IPO valuations. Numerous people like to point out the hypocrisy of most celebrities speaking out vehemently for gun control while themselves benefitting from the protection of fully armed security. They ought keep pointing this out. Social activists tend to be very cavalier with the rights and lives of others. If Miranda Kerr ends up dead, we can find more models. Billionaire in the making Evan Spiegel will find another hot chick to fuck. He can probably never be President if he’s ever been mic’d, but he’ll abide. A knife in the eye is the price you pay for feeling like you’re doing something to stop the next Sandy Hook.