October 25, 2016 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen | 0 Comments
There’s a quiet dignity in being part of the hundred million women a year who breastfeed their babies without so much as a selfie or Instagram shoutout to woman power. At some point wealthy celebrity women having kids in their 30’s decided that snapping photos of their infants on their tits constituting their Gaia sacrificial duties for the year.
Olivia Wilde posted a photo of her kid on her tit with the t-shirt and hashtag “neverunderestimatethepowerofawoman”. I’m pretty sure we knew you could have a baby. Also, that you could nourish that child from your breast, even if only for 1/10th the number of days of your Malawi woman counterparts who don’t have the luxury of an organic gluten-free baby food aisle at their local Whole Foods. Try nursing a fly-ridden kwashiorkor six and four year old on your tit to keep them alive and consider earning that hashtag.
It’s unclear when the wonder of me bullshit began. Setting the bar at what even lower order mammals do on the regular isn’t super impressive. It’s certain your grandmother never bragged about this shit. Her nipples chafed and bled and she didn’t so much as purchase a Body Shop emollient to soothe. There’s no accomplishment in suffering, nor is there in bragging about your daily chores. It’s quite possible you’re not alone.
Everybody understands wealthy famous women have far less grueling work in child rearing. This would be the time to post some cute baby photos and and say something like, “I can’t imagine what this might be like without two night nurses and seven Guatemalan nannies and a really big house”. Breastfeeding is not military service. If you’re unsure, enlist. Your martyrdom lacks oomph.
Photo Credit: Instagram/WWTDD Archives