Paris Seems Pretty Gangster

Even discounting the seventeen percent of Paris you can’t enter without an Allahu Akbar and an authentic beard, the City of Light seems to be turning pretty damn criminal. It was one thing when armed assailants pilfered the one ring to rule them all Kim Kardashian was flaunting on Snapchat. Everybody dislikes Kim Kardashian.

Now a beloved Bollywood actress, Mallika Sherawat, was visiting Parris and took tear gas to the face from a band of masked marauders. She and her boyfriend were beaten in the hallway of the apartment where she was staying in Paris. Motive is unknown at this time, but let’s assume it wasn’t the new Tourism Board welcome to Paris.

Sherawat promptly hit up social media to assure her fans that she was okay, while also mentioning the specific name of the upscale spa hotel in Switzerland where she was safely ensconced. Now you’re just asking for it. Turn the Peugeot around, Achmed. We’re retargeting. There is no personal Brexit.

_{Photo credit: Splash News}