Leah Remini is hosting a tell-all documentary series on A&E about Scientology. It’s a career move for those who’d like to wonder about the headlights in the rear view mirror for the rest of their lives. Scientology exposés have grown pretty regurgitative at this point. They prey on the weak and needy who also happen to be able to pay for super expensive night school classes on how to void their body of bad juju. If you try to opt out, they send guys with bug eyes to clog your rain gutters. Unless you’re broke, then you get a swift boot and they change the locks.
Assume members are getting laid pretty frequently. That seems to be the selling point of most cults. It’s still unclear why women join up. Long-time member Remini claims she paid up to three million to Scientology before she took a wrong turn on Google one day and read ten thousand articles about Scientology being a stupid sham rife with abuse. That’s a kick in the pants after three million. Like how athletes feel after tight friends from high school get them invested deep into Puerto Rican mining companies.
Remini’s novel note on Scientology is how the rank and file members aren’t big fans of Tom Cruise. Nor the Flavor Flav sized medallions he keeps awarding himself at over the top Scientology galas. Cruise is a net negative draw for the church. Remini claims most of the Church members are working their asses off to get to the $250,000 payment mark where they are awarded enlightenment. Also, you get free passes to go down on same sex partners on Xenu’s birthday. Because of the space-time continuum, that occurs here on Earth every twenty minutes. That’s a lot of cock.
The Church of Scientology has already threatened Remini with lawsuits over the show. The organization spends a good deal of resources playing aggressor in the civil courts against their detractors. Scientologists invariably fall back on comparing their church to more mainstream religions and how they are not so different. And they’re not. Which is the advantage of having started your mystical faith-based organization in ancient times. No basic cable shows debunking your mythology. Or IRS to audit your tithings. Still, any organization with this many actors involved is necessarily a gay front. Same reason they opened all those juice shops.