Lady Gaga Steps In

Nothing speaks to indie music fans quite like corporate pop music acts. After Beyonce pulled out of headlining Coachella due to implanting fertilized eggs into her uterus precisely in time to opt out of the big ticket music festival, organizers scrambled to land another big name. Lady Gaga took the bait. Also the million dollars that was originally promised to Beyonce. Beyonce still receives her own million because her insurance plan is much better than yours. 

Coachella needed some good news after word that their website database of registered users had been hacked and all user account name and address and email information stolen. That’s 950,000 people who’ve considered paying $400 on up for the cheap seats to the weekend concert. A bounty of exploitable non-price conscious consumers soon to be phished with emails from fake Coachella accounts asking them to re-input their passwords and credit card info. Figure John Podesta and maybe 50,000 others willingly oblige and now the Russians have your info. Be glad Julian Assange is busy hate fucking Pamela Anderson. That buys you two weeks to shut down all your accounts. The free Super Bowl half time show should’ve been enough.

_{Photo Credit: Instagram/ Lady Gaga}