How Many Millions for Dinner With Leo and Kate?

Make a list of things Leonardo DiCaprio related that you’d pay a million bucks for. The yacht, the plane, largely well maintained vulvas of various hot Victoria’s Secret models. How about dinner with Leo and Kate Winslet? Alligator arms.

DiCaprio had to pull some auction magic out of the hat when the U.S. Justice Department seized his Picasso and Basquiat paintings ill-gotten from Malaysian government thieves. Those were to be the big ticket items at annual the Leonardo DiCaprio Foundation Gala and Sea-Faring Fuckfest in St. Tropez this evening. Bride or no-bride, there’s no getting back a seven figures catering deposit. 

If you’re in the St. Tropez area this evening, get over to the party. Lenny Kravitz is going to be performing and the Mayor of Paris is receiving an environmental award, under the most narrow definition of the environment possible. For instance, excluding cops being assassinated and restaurants blowing up. A small price to pay for moving the city busses to largely electric.

Bid winners will get to dine with Leo and Kate this Fall at a restaurant the pair will choose so you can’t selfie yourself from Sbarro with two crazy rich actors looking miserable. Expect they have perfected the “I’m interested in what you have to say”. They’re good actors. Plus the winner will be somebody like Bono who they are actually interested in hearing from. These are the self-flagellating Opus Dei priests of the Environment. Flogs woven from porcupine feces and purchased on Goop. 

Fucking DiCaprio is such a player. 

_{Photo credit: Getty Images / Mr. Skin}