— JU (@obey_jbell) July 27, 2017
As someone who lived in Ohio for four years, I can safely say it is the place where dreams go to die. And after a fatal incident on a ride at the Ohio State Fair, it’s also the place where people go to die. A Twitter video shows four riders on the Fire Ball being flung into the air after their seats literally fall apart. The tragedy currently has over eight thousand favs on Twitter. Social media bringing us together one #trending moment at a time.
Anyone having wavering faith in the great state of Ohio has their answer. If a serial killer doesn’t get you, a shitty state fair will. Michael Vartorella is the Chief Inspector of Amusement Park Rides in Ohio. With all the abandoned garbage-strewn mall parking lots ripe for carny child molesters and their disintegrating rides in the Buckeye State, Vartorella obviously has his hands full. He addressed the Fire Ball fiasco with:
We take this job very serious, and when we have a tragedy like this it hits everybody, it hits us really hard. My grandchildren ride this equipment, so our guys do not rush this stuff.
So, you want to watch your grandchildren die? Sick fuck. Governor John Kasich chimed in:
I am terribly saddened by this accident, bt the loss of life and that people were injured enjoying Ohio’s fair. Our thoughts and prayers go out to those grieving and injured. I have ordered a full investigation into the incident and have ordered that all fiar rides be shut down until additional safety inspections can be completed.
You know, the fair’s about the best things in life, and then tonight with this accident it becomes a terrible, terrible tragedy.
“Additional safety inspections” only being necessary after a fatal malfunction. One person was pronounced dead at the scene, and five people were taken to the Ohio State University hospital – three of which were listed in critical condition as of last night. Fairs offer deep fried butter and knock-off Looney Tunes stuffed animals for garbage people in need of levity. Also a great place to score angel dust. Personal fireworks are illegal in Ohio. But residents can be catapulted into the sky by high g-force rust buckets. Ohio isn’t the only state with fair ride fatalities. But it is the shitiest.
Photo Credit: Twitter