Angelina Jolie Vs African Warlord

October 11, 2017 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf | 0 Comments

I am still unsure to this day what exactly Kony 2012 is and was. Almost out of thin air it seemed that Americans randomly started to care about Ugandan war criminals. But the entire catch Kony campaign was mostly a cause that community college students could feel good to care about. And even more of an internet meme. So it’s no surprise to find out that super hero celebrity Angelina Jolie tried to personally stop Kony herself. When she’s not busy rescuing kids from the same area in Africa to claim for adoption, she’s trying to rid the world of war criminals. What a selfless woman. 

War crimes investigators once claimed Angelina Jolie offered to be part of a plan involving US special forces to try and catch Ugandan warlord Joseph Kony in 2012. The report said Jolie’s now-estranged husband, Brad Pitt, was supposed to be part of the plan to lure Kony out of hiding. An email sent by Mr Moreno Ocampo at the time read: “Forget other celebrities, she is the one…She loves to arrest Kony. She is ready. Probably Brad [Pitt] will go also.” He said in one exchange to “invite Kony to dinner and then arrest him,” implying Ms Jolie volunteered to be some sort of bait US forces could use. The Oscar-winning star and United Nations Goodwill Ambassador for refugees sent a reply to Mr Moreno Ocampo that said: “Brad is being supportive. Let’s discuss logistics. Much love Xxx.”  

In a dialogue and plot that seems cooked up and served in the lowest of budgets Hollywood films, Angelina was willing to invite a warlord to dinner in the middle of the Central African Republic. Then the police would just casually arrest him mid meal. Brad Pitt was even supposed to come along. That arrest might work for someone behind on child support payments, or someone who stole underpants from the dollar store. But there’s a high percentage that Jolie’s face would have been caught in the crosshairs of a rhino rifle in a shootout. Those lips look like they can stop a lot, but they don’t look bulletproof. No one wants to get shot in the face while in the middle of eating a filet mignon made from 100% hyena. That’s probably why this third-grade level undercover arrest plan never saw the light of day. Moral from all of this is that any adult male using “much love xxx” to end an email and has an ip address that can be traced back to Africa is probably more interested in your personal bank account numbers. Your personal safety or credit score isn’t on his high priorities list. 

Photo Credit: Mr. & Mrs. Smith

Tags: angelina jolie

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