Colin Kaepernick Shitty Pocket Passer and Lawyer Picker

October 17, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen | 0 Comments

Colin Kaepernick is like that other gift that keeps on giving after a one-night stand. Just when you think he’s gone, blammo, that sucker’s flaring something awful. So I’m told.

Kaepernick is filing a collusion grievance via the NFL Players Collective Bargaining Agreement against the NFL owners. Objectively speaking, Kaepernick doesn’t have a job because of his non-football antics. A check of the rosters reveals some QBs with jobs with less impressive skill sets and resumes. Kaepernick was never a great quarterback, or even a very good quarterback, but there aren’t sixty guys better than him. Which leads to the unmistakable conclusion that his Che Guevara protest antics are what has kept him from finding a new job. The question is whether owners individually decided they don’t need this kind of pain in the ass on their team, or they all met and agreed to blackball Kaepernic. The latter could mean tons of money for Kaepernick in arbitration. Also one fat ‘told you so’ Tweet.

To carry out his legal interests, Kaepernick retained the services of Mark Geragos. You may recall Geragos as the defense attorney famous people use when they’re clearly guilty of crimes. Chris Brown most recently. Before that, the likes of Michael Jackson and his Jesus juice, Congressman Gary Condit when they found out he shaved his whole body and his intern was missing, Susan McDougal during the Whitewater trials, Scott Peterson, the guy who killed his pregnant wife, and Winona Ryder during her klepto phase. The salt of the earth.

“If the NFL (as well as all professional sports leagues) is to remain a meritocracy, then principled and peaceful political protests — which the owners themselves made great theater imitating weeks ago — should not be punished and athletes should not be denied employment based on partisan political provocation by the Executive Branch of our government. Such a precedent threatens all patriotic Americans and harkens back to our darkest days as a nation. Protecting all athletes from such collusive conduct is what compelled Mr. Kaepernick to file his grievance.”

Meh, I hope you’ve got something better than some Trump bashing and McCarthyism references for the judge. It’s cute, but not legally sound. Having Jerry Jones on hidden camera video with a bunch of the owners and hookers talking about fucking over Kaepernick would be more impressive.

It’s unclear why Kaerpernick chose not to retain the services of a prominent civil rights attorney. Though those attorneys really hate taking on a loser case. Geragos has shown he has no problem losing. His record is spotty. Like Jacksonville Jaguars kind of spotty. 

Kaepernick’s screwed himself into a shrinking victim corner. He’s the NFL guy who can’t get a QB job because he’s far too much media and fan trouble. When that interest fades, it’ll be hard for him being a jock, a millionaire and dating models to be a hallowed voice on the social issues of the day. Inherently, people don’t like to hear about the struggles of the common man from a guy in a ten million dollar Brentwood estate. See last year’s election results as an example. 

Photo credit: Getty Images

Tags: colin kaepernick mark geragos